Carry On, Warrior

The Power of Honesty Over Perfection

While attending church, Glennon Doyle noticed that other women often assumed her life was perfect simply because she appeared pulled together on the outside. This perception deeply troubled her because it created a barrier between her and others, making them feel inadequate while she felt misunderstood. In reality, her history was marked by twenty years of struggle with bulimia, alcoholism, and drug use. She realized that by hiding her past and maintaining a polished exterior, she was inadvertently isolating herself from the world.

This deep internal void started when she was very young. She tried to fill her emptiness with food, alcohol, and toxic relationships, mistakenly believing that if she could just become thin and beautiful, she would finally feel complete. She became a high-functioning addict, winning teaching awards and appearing successful to the outside world while secretly unraveling.

To test her theory about the dangers of hiding, Glennon decided to practice radical honesty during a conversation at a playground with a friend named Tess. She dropped her guard and shared the raw truth about her addictions, her postpartum depression, and her fears about motherhood. Instead of judging her, Tess responded with tears and shared her own hidden struggles, creating a deep and immediate connection between them.

This experience defined a new purpose for her life and her writing. She found that reading and writing provided a safe space for the truth, allowing her to release the pressure of her secret self. She began sharing her story publicly, realizing that dropping the shield of perfection was the most effective way to help others feel less alone.

She embraced the idea that life is brutiful, a continuous combination of brutal and beautiful moments. By widening her circles of acceptance to include herself and her flaws, she built a life centered on being a work in progress rather than a finished product. Forgiving oneself and others became her primary method for living peacefully in a complicated world.