Getting to Yes

Introduction to Principled Negotiation

Negotiation is a daily reality that occurs whenever people communicate to reach an agreement. Most people believe they must choose between being a soft negotiator who gives in to avoid conflict or a hard negotiator who treats every discussion as a competition. Roger Fisher explains that soft negotiators often feel cheated, while hard negotiators frequently damage their relationships.

A better approach is principled negotiation, which focuses on the merits of a problem rather than who can win a contest of wills. You look for mutual benefits and use fair standards to resolve conflicts. By being firm on the issues but respectful toward the people involved, you can reach fair agreements that protect your interests.

Most people approach a negotiation by taking a firm stance and then making small concessions to find a middle ground. This common back-and-forth is known as positional bargaining. While it provides a clear starting point, it often fails the three essential tests of a good negotiation because it rarely produces a wise agreement, lacks efficiency, and often damages the relationship between the parties.

When you argue over positions, you tend to lock yourself into them. The more you defend your opening offer, the more your ego becomes tied to it. This often leads to a struggle for saving face, where the desire to stay consistent with your past statements outweighs the original goal of meeting your actual needs.

This method is also highly inefficient because negotiators often start with extreme demands and hold onto them stubbornly. They make only tiny concessions to keep the conversation alive, creating a slow process that takes an immense amount of time and effort. The process becomes even more difficult when multiple parties are involved, making a final agreement nearly unreachable.

The solution is to change the rules of the game entirely through principled negotiation. This method focuses on four basic pillars: separating people from the problem, focusing on interests rather than positions, inventing options for mutual gain, and using objective criteria. By following these steps through the stages of analysis, planning, and discussion, you can reach agreements that are both durable and fair.