Give and Take

Why Generous People Succeed at Work

Success is traditionally attributed to a mix of motivation, ability, and luck. However, a critical fourth ingredient often determines where a person lands on the professional ladder: how they handle their interactions with others. Most people operate with a specific reciprocity style, meaning they are either takers, matchers, or givers. While takers focus on getting more than they give and matchers seek an even trade, givers are a rare breed who contribute to others without expecting a return.

In the short term, being a giver can look like a recipe for failure. This was the case for David Hornik, a venture capitalist who offered an entrepreneur a deal without the typical high-pressure deadline. He encouraged the entrepreneur to explore other options, prioritizing the founder's best interests over his own. Initially, this backfired when the entrepreneur chose a different firm, fearing Hornik was too nice to be a tough advisor. On the surface, it seemed the good guy had finished last.

This pattern of givers struggling is common across many different industries. In engineering, the least productive workers are often givers who spend so much time helping colleagues that they neglect their own tasks. In medical school, students with the lowest grades are frequently those who sacrifice their study time to tutor peers. In sales, the lowest performers are often givers who care too much about the customer to push for a deal. Statistically, givers are more likely to end up at the bottom of the success ladder, earning less money and being perceived as less powerful.

However, a closer look at the data reveals a startling paradox regarding workplace behavior. Givers also dominate the very top of the success ladder. The most productive engineers, the highest-ranking medical students, and the top-performing salespeople are also givers. While takers and matchers tend to land in the middle, givers occupy both the basement and the penthouse of professional achievement. The difference lies in how they manage their generosity to build deep trust and widespread reputations that eventually create a ripple effect of success for everyone around them.

David Hornik’s story eventually proved this point about long-term success. The entrepreneur he helped later realized the value of Hornik's supportive yet challenging nature and invited him into the deal anyway. Because Hornik had built such immense goodwill, he became a sought-after partner, winning a massive majority of the deals he pursued. His success did not come at someone else's expense; it was fueled by the fact that everyone around him wanted him to win.

In today’s interconnected world, the marathon of career success favors the giver more than ever. As work becomes more team-oriented and the service economy grows, a reputation for being helpful is a massive competitive advantage. Even historical figures like Abraham Lincoln demonstrated this, as he frequently sacrificed his own short-term political ambitions to support allies and causes he believed in. These self-sacrificing moves eventually built the coalition that propelled him to the presidency. Ultimately, while giving is a risky strategy for a short sprint, it is the most powerful engine for a long-term journey to the top.